


Certain Forms of Selflessness

by mandaree1



Category: Steven Universe - Fandom
Genre: "The Answer", F/F, Ruby doesn't understand, but she tries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-03-27
Packaged: 2018-05-29 12:41:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6375157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mandaree1/pseuds/mandaree1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An ex-soldier and an ex-diplomat try to find common ground their first night away from home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Certain Forms of Selflessness

"You don't have to do that."

Ruby startled. Cross-legged on the floor, she'd been quietly staring out into the wilderness, watching the liquid platter down with interest. "Huh?"

"You're guarding me." Sapphire stated, hands clasped around her midriff. Ruby had given her privacy, letting her lay down and stare at the ceiling without a fuss. She wondered what she was thinking about, then brushed the thought away; she could never hope to understand the complex mind of a higher-up.

Ruby stood to better peer into the darkness, a hand coming to rest on the wall of the cave. "They might send out some gems to find you."

"They won't bother trying to find us." She insisted, voice deepening slightly. "Traitors are of no use to Homeworld."

The use of 'us' made her look away. Sapphire, she's found, is a very kind gem. Almost to the point of obliviousness. Despite her wisdom, a part of her clung to the ideal that all gems were equal. She probably thought they really _would_ waste precious time and gem-power looking for a mass-produced gem.

Ruby thought otherwise. She could never fit into the role of a noble, just like one could never expect a Diamond to fight like a warrior. That just wasn't the point behind their existence.

"And, even if they _did_ come looking for us, I don't want to be found." She contiuned eventually. "Come sit with me?"

Ruby hesitated. It was strange for her to have a choice. Finally, she trekked over and sat down, wincing at the graceless flop, praying it didn't interrupt whatever the blue gem was doing.

Rubies weren't made to be graceful, she reminded herself. No one had ever looked at a Ruby and said, "Do something graceful for me." Well, they _might_ have, but it was probably more for sport than anything else.

"Are you... okay?" She asked finally. Sapphire nodded.

"I'm trying to get a clear picture of our life here. What we can make of it."

"Oh." Ruby fell silent, letting her concentrate. Her knee jiggled impatiently, but it was more force of habit than anything else.

She reached up to rub her temple. "The problem being, I can't."

"Yeah?" She hesitated once again. Was she pressing too much? "Does that mean... there _isn't_ one?"

"No. I could see it if it was something as simple as failure." This time, it was Sapphire who hesitated. "There's been something wrong with my vision. Since we escaped."

"Has this ever happened before?"

"No." She admitted, shaking her head once. "Before, everything was smooth. One line, endlessly repeating itself. Now, it's almost like.. there's a chance to it all? I can see myself slipping and breaking my gem if I try and stand up, but I can also see myself getting up without issue." She frowned slightly. "It's never been like this."

Ruby wondered if it might be better that way. She'd hate to see how her life would pan out, with no surprises. Especially as a soldier. Her line probably wasn't very long, anyhow. "Probability, then?"

" _Possibilities_. Endless amounts of them." Sapphire slowly sat up, the frown melting away. "I think I like it better this way."

"Do you think it was... the fusion? That knocked you out of sync?" She ignored their similar sentiments. Even a Pearl shared the odd thought with a Quartz.

"Partly." She agreed. "Your impulsiveness combined with my sight could have created a new line. Or, in this case, a new way of seeing."

"Oh." Ruby said. "Sorry."

"Don't be." Sapphire gently reached out and grabbed her hand. "You set me free with your strength, just like I saved you with mine."

She squirmed, but didn't pull away. All things considered, the latter probably still should have never occurred. "Anybody would have done the same."

"Maybe." She agreed with a smile. "But I doubt it."

Ruby didn't argue, because what could she say? She knew next to nothing about that kind of thing. Besides, it's not her right to speak further.

"It's quiet out there." She nodded to the world outside their hideaway, desperate to change the topic. She went along with it willingly.

"Not quiet. Still." Sapphire hummed. "Life here is still in its youngest stages."

"Oh." Ruby had never known stillness to be like this; suffocating and harsh. She'd spent weeks standing guard outside of council rooms, never once twitching, and it had never seemed like a bother. All things considered, it'd been a short haul, but still.

Therein lied her one issue in her placement. Rubies never got to do anything truly important. The most exhilarating moments of their lives were typically when they got into the odd scuffle and when they got crushed. That was it.

The most critical part of her existence was her death. That left a bit of a chip on the shoulder.

"I'm not gonna lie." She said. "I have no clue what to talk about."

"Same here." Sapphire shrugged. "Everything I know stems back to Homeworld."

Ruby winced. The topic was still a sore one. "What did you normally talk about?"

"Diplomatic issues and the placement of kindergartens." She recited immediately. "I predicted the best places to put them. Or, at least, I did."

"Oh." Ruby replied. "That's the stuff I guard the door for."

Sapphire examined her. "You've never been inside a meeting hall?"

"Of course not. Rubies are too disruptive for that." She shrugged, tapping her knee with her free hand. "I keep the others in line and unwanted visitors out." Ruby paused. "Normally we only got lost gems, though."

"I see." There was a hint of anger to her words. Sapphire squeezed her fingers reassuringly. "What do soldiers talk about?"

"Fighting, mostly." Ruby stifled the urge to tell her about the rants her colleagues went on about how stuck up certain nobles were. That wouldn't go over very well. "Battles and military tactics... where we might be going next. We rough house more than we talk, really. And..." She trailed off.

"And death?" Sapphire stated bluntly.

She jumped, wondering once again if the gem could read minds, then sighed. "Death is a natural part of any soldier's career."

"It doesn't bother you?"

"Why would it? You're a rare gem, Sapphire. One of a kind. I'm _not_. And that's okay. It's comforting to know I'll never leave Homeworld short-staffed."

"It shouldn't have to be that way." The blue gem stated finally, voice hitching with rage. She shook the smallest bit. "We all live and die. Our fates are all the same. Why _should_ we live like we're different?"

"Sapphire?" Ruby stumbled over the word. It felt weird, calling her by her name. "Are you okay?"

"I'm very angry." She hissed through gritted teeth. "No one should ever have to be treated less."

She hesitantly shuffled closer, pressing her warm shoulder to hers. She had the thought of fusing to make her feel better, but that doesn't make any sense, so she doesn't voice it.

"That's just how things are, I guess." She swallowed. "On Homeworld."

"If that's the case," Sapphire proclaimed, red-tinted memories of a lifetime of being second best flashing through her mind, gifted with ease during those precious few seconds they were a different entity all together. "Then I'm glad we're never going back."


End file.
